Crazy & All Over the Place
Just like Brandy Meliville claims to have "one size fits all" clothing, people tend to believe mental health is the same way. Sadly, Brandy Melville skirts barely fit around my left thigh...but I remind myself that nothing in this world is one size fits all. Not our clothing, not our preferences and opinions, and especially not our mental illnesses. There is a common misconception that all people with bipolar disorder are lunatics swinging from one extreme to the other on a day-to-day basis. At least this is what I thought before I realized I suffer from it myself.
When I hear people I consider close say harsh words about my disorder, it makes me feel even more ashamed of my condition. Instead of someone seeing me as an empathetic person with many thoughts and feelings, I am categorized as "crazy" "all over the place" and "too emotional".
So let's look at these three words: "crazy", "all over the place" and "too emotional" and see how we can switch the conversation to a more positive.
You are acting crazy - the dictionary definition of crazy is "mentally deranged, especially manifested in a wild or aggressive way." You've probably heard people call girls crazy all the time or boys reference "ugh, my crazy ex did this..." People use the term crazy to a point it has become normalized language. I would argue that Jeffrey Dahmer is "crazy" but your ex who called you crying because she missed you as "a human being with real feelings." So how about we start using words that aren't so extreme. Bipolar people aren't crazy... we are just experiencing mental illness. And instead of calling people crazy, say what you really mean. Instead of that "crazy-ex girlfriend" just call her by her name and try to come from a place of understanding (maybe she is experiencing mental illness that has yet to be discovered or maybe she has had life experiences that shaped her to become the way she is today). The more we use these hurtful words and negatively charged language, the more ashamed people feel to seek help when they actually are in a poor mental state.
You are always so emotional! - being bipolar literally means heightened emotions so of course we are "too emotional". When you are bipolar, you experience a shift in mood, energy, activity levels, concentration, and the ability to complete daily routines. This can of course heighten emotions, as constantly dealing with these various changes becomes exhausting and overwhelming. Repeatedly calling someone too emotional may cause them to suppress how they genuinely feel. The last thing someone experiencing a mental illness needs is to suppress how they truly feel.
You are all over the place - Bipolar is a chemical imbalance where there are quite literally two poles that we swing from: the manic pole and the depressive pole. All people experiencing bipolar symptoms experience this shift differently. For me, I very rarely become manic, and when I do it usually means I don't sleep for a few days, I work out excessively, and can barely concentrate on simple tasks or even watch tv. When I'm depressed, it typically lasts a week. I have trouble staying awake, the world feels heavy, dim, and dull, and I can barely eat or speak. Because of this constant shift in mood, I do feel like I am all over the place. Nevertheless, I don't need to be reminded of this nor do others who experience similar symptoms. Rather, we crave reassurance, support, and patience and understanding.
If you are reading this and you have felt similar. If you have been called crazy, too emotional, or all over the place. If you have felt ashamed to share the real you. This piece was written for you and for you to realize you are not alone. We deserve love, we deserve patience, and we deserve to feel all the emotions we experience, good and bad. Embrace your inner moody girl < 3
