Freshman Year Friendships

Although I'm introverted, I was really excited to meet new people and make friends during my freshman year of college. I met a group of people and quickly warmed up to them. I spent most of my time with them. 

We’d hang out in one of their dorm rooms, pregame and go out for parties and eat as a group afterwards. It seemed like the best college experience ever!

However, I soon noticed they would take advantage of me, manipulate me, and criticize me whenever I hung out with other people. On top of this, they would purposefully exclude me and use the excuse that I “didn’t spend enough time hanging out in the room with them”, as if the only thing to do in college was to sit in someone’s dorm room all day.

I value being a loyal friend, and believed I should stick with the group throughout the turmoil and criticism.  I excused the behavior because things were tense while everyone was adjusting to life away from home. Or so I thought...

Later on, I learned that some of the people in the group were spreading lies about me. Behind my back, they would make fun of my stomach and one of the girls had remarked that I was “a fat cow”. As a person who takes care of their fitness, that REALLY bothered me. 

Eventually, in May of my freshman year, I called them all out for disrespecting me. I cried A LOT after feeling so hurt. The girl who called me a fat cow told me to continue crying and I left, crying myself to sleep that night knowing I had lost my entire "friend group". Not to mention, none of them had apologized after the incident. 

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-- Amber Mirza, @ambermirzaa

The summer before my sophomore year, it was a tad frightening to know I had lost basically all of my friends and would go into the school year with only two close friends and a few acquaintances. However, I had confidence in myself that I would make new friends very quickly, and surely I did.

I set myself up for success by creating an online thrift store that I continue to make money off of today, secured my first internship, and also starting working as a sales associate at The North Face. Without the toxicity of my former friend group holding me back, I was able to attain new long lasting friendships and finally enjoy college and grow as a person. I was making friends that would encourage me and would address any problems directly with me instead of insulting me, going behind my back, or creating lies about me. 

I have even more friends now than I did freshmen year, and not to mention, I have quality friends. I started making a lot of money that enabled me to live the life I wanted to lead in Washington, DC. And most importantly, I found my passion in criminal justice and started working towards my graduate school application.

Overall, I think getting out of toxic friendships helps build character. It is so rewarding to see what you can do for yourself once you let go of people holding you back. If someone is mistreating you, confront them. If they refuse to listen to you or fix problems, drop them. 

My advice to incoming college freshmen is to not stick to “a clique”. Go out and meet all kinds of people! Just because you have multiple friends does NOT mean you have to forego other friend groups. Your true friends/friend groups will realize that it is important to have multiple social links. They will support you. Hopefully my story helps someone.

I have even more friends now than I did freshmen year, and not to mention, I have quality friends. I started making a lot of money that enabled me to live the life I wanted to lead in Washington, DC. And most importantly, I found my passion in criminal justice and started working towards my graduate school application.

Overall, I think getting out of toxic friendships helps build character. It is so rewarding to see what you can do for yourself once you let go of people holding you back. If someone is mistreating you, confront them. If they refuse to listen to you or fix problems, drop them. 

My advice to incoming college freshmen is to not stick to “a clique”. Go out and meet all kinds of people! Just because you have multiple friends does NOT mean you have to forego other friend groups. Your true friends/friend groups will realize that it is important to have multiple social links. They will support you. Hopefully my story helps someone.